Over the holiday weekend, I spent a lot of time reflecting on the past year and all the things I'm thankful for. It's probably not what you'd expect.
Sure, I'm thankful for my family and friends who support and love me. For the fact that my life is safe and comfortable. For my daily yoga practice that gives me strength and flexibility (and I don't just mean physically).
And of course, I'm extremely thankful for everyone who has used ZenSearch, read my posts, or met with me to share their experiences and perspectives.
Those things are easy to be thankful for.
What I realized is that I'm even more thankful for the challenges and obstacles.
It was devastating when my cofounder left ZenSearch. In many ways, it felt like I'd been laid off again. Not completely without warning, but unsettling and disruptive, and entirely beyond my control to change.
But it forced me to grow. A lot. To learn things I never thought I would or could. Lessons I didn't want, but I got anyway. And I'm a thousand times stronger because of them.
It inspired me to find alternate support systems, new friends and communities. People who encourage and help me. People who I might not have looked for or reached out to under other circumstances.
When I first started coding, it was overwhelming. I didn't know how to handle even the most basic development tasks. There were weeks when I'd make progress, only to end up reverting several days of work. It was beyond frustrating. There were tears. Several times, I almost gave up.
Now, while certainly no expert, I've learned an incredible amount. I've built new features, and in the process, gained confidence and skills, skills I would not have acquired otherwise. My mistakes, painful in the moment, built knowledge, and if I'm being honest, an immense appreciation for all the engineers I previously worked with.
So yeah, I'm thankful for every setback, every mistake, every misstep, every limitation.
They've become my strengths.
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